Look at this! It's feels legit now ( ;
 

adjusting, or trying anyways

How does one adjust to the real world after experiencing a more genuine and real feeling world in the woods? I'm just plowing through while trying to stay fit and do things that make me happy. But it feels insufficient. I find myself in tears multiple times a day.
I have the new job lined up and that starts the beginning of Sept, and I'm so grateful to have something else to throw myself into. But I know in 11 months when that adventure is over I'm likely to find myself in the same place, saying goodbye to people I've grown to love and having to find something else to do that makes me feel alive. This is a pattern I've created for myself. And honestly, it's led to some pretty amazing adventures. But I don't think this is sustainable, or rather I don't know how to make it so. I can't see ever feeling content with settling down and getting a job and leading a typical life, being content with my one week vacation each year. How does one break the pattern and still find the excitement and adventure they crave?

Also, as a disclaimer, I realize this is a very privileged perspective I get to have. There are a lot of people who can't afford to think like that because they're too busy struggling to make a living, doing whatever they can to survive. It makes me sad that this is so, but somehow doesn't lessen the struggle I'm feeling. I'd like to find something that both makes me feel fully alive and gives back to the world and the people who struggle in it. I just don't know what that is. 

What's next?

Now that this adventure is over I'm in Indy for a couple weeks getting things organized and taking care of business and then I'm off to California. I'll be starting a team leader position based out of Sacramento, CA with AmeriCorps National Civilian Community Corps. See official job description here.
Essentially I'll be leading a team of 18-24 year olds doing service work throughout much of the Western United States. I'll get a living stipend and get to travel and volunteer while helping my team develop skills that can be life changing. I know there will be all sorts of challenges, but I'm looking forward to having something worthwhile to throw myself into.

'"Beginnings are usually scary and endings are usually sad, but it's everything in between that makes it all worth living."

 
It's hard that endings and beginnings almost always come at the same time. The amount of trepidation I feel at starting new somewhere, combined with the loss of being done with something else feels uncomfortable, to say the least. 

But oh man, the in-between. The peaks and valleys. The figuring it out, the meeting new friends, and the finding new community, and reworking of my life. It is absolutely going to be overwhelmingly beautiful. And hard. But nothing worth doing hardly ever feels easy. '

That's a post I wrote after the AmeriCorps program I finished in 2012. It feels as accurate now as it did then. It's frustrating to know that this transition feels just as hard as that one, but oddly encouraging at the same time. Because after AmeriCorps I felt like I was losing both the people I adored and a job with purpose and value. I was worried I wouldn't make those same sort of connections again, but here I am again in that very same spot. And that tells me that I can and will be able to do it again. So despite the sadness I feel at leaving and the trepidation I feel at starting over, again, I also have hope and confidence this time both in my ability to surround myself with people who are nothing short of amazing and my ability to add meaning to this big beautiful globe with whatever I do. And that feels like a pretty okay place to start from. Deep breaths. 

It is FINISHED.

3/11-8/9/14

The Last Days

Our second to last day we hiked from our stealth campsite near Abol Bridge a beautiful and easy 10 miles to Katahdin Stream Campground where we stayed for the night. Tenzing and her dad, DaV, Dino, Bean Dip, and I all hiked together. Along the way we stopped at Big Niagara where we stopped and sun soaked for hours and had lunch.

 

The last hour or two of our hike that day it rained. It was fitting. The trail has been such an odd mix of bliss and struggle that it only seemed right that on one of our last days it would be much the same. As soon as we arrived to Katahdin Stream campground though the rain let up and the sun came out. There was quite the crowd of hikers hanging out, drinking beer, and playing Frisbee waiting to summit the following day. We joined them and enjoyed some of our last hours with folks we had spent the last 5 months seeing. That night we enjoyed one last campfire and then went to bed early. The next day was a big one.

 

The next morning I was up and packing at 4 and on the trail by 5. The first mile or so was easy and then from there the intensity and difficulty quickly increased. There were tons of big rocks and boulders to go over or around.

  
After 3 miles or so there is a nice reprieve from the hand over foot climbing. It's the Tablelands and it is essentially a large plateau part way up the mountain. It's a rare habitat for lots of endangered plants and animals. Also, it's the home of Thoreau Springs which was a great place to stop for a water break.

 

It took about 3 and a half hours to do the 5 miles to reach the summit of Baxter Peak, the tallest peak on Mt. Katahdin and southern terminus of the Appalachian Trail.
We did the whole picture thing, and celebrated, and then hung out for about an hour and a half. It was a bit windy up there, so we didn't stay too long.

 

It's crazy that this is the culmination of 5 months of trekking. The idea of walking from Georgia to Maine still seems as absurd and difficult as it did 5 months, and yet here I am having done it.

 



 

100 Miles of Beautiful

What is the 100 Mile Wilderness?

Read me!

 

 

My tramily has been hiking more or less together since mid-June, with a few small breaks. As we headed out into the 100 Mile Wilderness Bean Dip decided to leave a day before the rest of us in order to do a few less miles a day and then we would catch up with her and all hike together. Bean left Aug 1 and the rest of us left Aug 2. 

The Wilderness was one of my favorite parts of the Trail. It wasn't quite what I thought it would be in terms of remoteness or inaccessibility, but that in no way kept me from loving it the same. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Day 1

DaVanci, Dinosaur, and I left the beautiful and well run Lakeshore House Hostel in Monson to start our journey through the 100 Mile Wilderness. We were on the Trail by 8 am. We had a 20 mile day planned and it was overcast all morning, so we hiked uninterrupted until we stopped for lunch.

 I ate my fairly typical Clif/protein bar and dried fruit combo. DaV always goes for the pepperoni cheese tortilla, and Dino's typical lunch involves some sort of chocolate. After lunch we kept on trucking until we got to Long Pond Stream Lean-to, 16 miles from where we started. We sat for a moment and discussed whether we wanted to stay or not. After some discussion and compromise we decided to do the last 4 miles and make it to Cloud Pond Lean-to. On the way we ran into an older section hiker who was struggling to make it up the mountain with a too heavy and lopsided pack. DaV switched him packs, hers being 30 and his 60, and hiked up trail and found him a camping spot. She then met us and took her pack and walked with him to his site. He was too tired to have made it all the way there without some help. We were all glad we decided to push on after that.

The Cloud Pond Lean-to was beautiful and was far enough off trail that there weren't too many folks there. We built a fire and made s'mores and shared food around the fire with another thru-hiker. We lucked out with nice weather all day and got to spend the last hours cozied around a campfire. Life's pretty good.

 

Day 2

The following day I left the shelter a little earlier then the rest of the crew to try to see a moose. I'd heard that sightings are more common in the early hours. No moose luck, but I did get to eat breakfast and make coffee on a mountaintop, so I can't complain much there. DaV and Dino caught up and we hiked the rest of the 10 miles to East Chairback Pond together. There were canoes galore there and so we spent a couple hours canoeing, swimming, and eating lunch on the pond.

After peeling ourselves away we hiked another 6 miles. We had intended to go 7 to the shelter, but opted for a quieter stealth site instead. Our site was next to a stream. The simple pleasures of setting up my tent wherever and calling it home and falling asleep to the sound of water over rocks are things I miss immensely.

 

Day 3

The next day the 3 of us split up a bit and hiked alone. Bean Dip, who had left a day earlier, had been sick at a shelter all night. We caught up to her. We were all really worried about her, she didn't look well and wasn't her normal feisty self. It's funny how quickly you come to loving and worrying about people out here. I think it has something to do with how vulnerable and real everyone is without all the distractions of the "real world". We called a friend's dad who was staying in a nearby town and he came to the rescue the next morning. She got some much needed rest in a nearby town and went to the doctor.

That afternoon I hiked for about 2 hours in a thunderstorm. Fortunately all the hiking was below tree line so it wasn't dangerous, just mostly annoying. After 5 months of hiking, one would think I'd get use to hiking in the rain, but I think I hated as much, if not more, at the end as I did back in Georgia in March. I ended up spending the night at a shelter 20 miles from where I started that morning. I was grateful for the shelter because it meant I wouldn't have to pack up a wet tent in the morning, but the mosquitoes were terrible and I spent most of the night awake swatting them away to no avail. DaV and Dino ended up camping 4 miles up trail so I decided I'd get up early and catch them.

 

Day 4

The next morning I got up and hiked some of the smoothest, flattest, easiest miles of the Trail to Jo-Mary Road. Hidden off of the private road we had a bucket with 3 days worth of food dropped so we wouldn't have to carry all of our food the whole way. After getting my food I caught up to DaV and Dino still with camp set up. The bugs had been terrible all night and that morning, so the 3 of us took refuge in DaV's tent for an hour or so while we ate breakfast and they packed up.

We braved the mozzies and hiked 6 miles to a beautiful sandy beach. On the way we ran into a friend, Tenzing, who joined us for a bit.

Dino, DaV, and I then did another 6 miles before we decided to quit early and try to soak up every last minute we had on the Trail. We stayed at a campsite where a Maine Appalachian Trail Club volunteer crew was set up. They'd been out for 5 days making the Trail a better, safer place to hike. We made a fire of our own, but later joined them around their campfire and they shared their veggie soup with us and we chatted for a good hour or so. They were a fun bunch and it was good to talk to people who were familiar with the Trail, but not out there for months at a time. Perspective is a cool thing. For a couple hours it thundered and lightninged and we were sure we would get soaked, but we somehow managed to not get any rain. Things seemed to work out for us.

 

 

Day 5

The next day we did another easy 16 miles. Along the way there were several picturesque beaches. We stopped at every one of them. Some we just sat at and talked and others were swim worthy. Tenzing joined us for part of the day and it was really good to have her company. The trail crew had told us about a campsite a bit off trail on Nature Conservancy land at Rainbow Dam so we headed there for the evening. This by far, was the most beautiful place I've stayed along the trail. We were right by the dam, so there was the sound of rushing water plus the breathtaking view of Rainbow Lake with Mount Katahdin as a backdrop. I was in paradise surrounded by folks I adore. Life doesn't get much better than that.

 

This was my view from the campsite in the morning. That's the sun rising over Katahdin- the goal I'd been working towards for nearly 5 months.
Breathtakingly beautiful.

Day 6

After watching the sun rise and taking our time eating breakfast and getting packed up we headed the 13 miles to Abol Bridge, the end of the 100 Mile Wilderness and the beginning of Baxter State Park. Along the way we found a ton of blueberries! We stopped for about an hour to pick berries and then loaf in a blueberry coma. Yum!
Bean Dip met us at Abol to join us for the last 15 miles to Katahdin. It had only been a few days since we had seen her, but there was enough excitement on everyone's part that it felt like it had been much longer. At Abol Bridge there was a small campstore and restaurant so we had dinner there and resupplied enough for the last 2 days of our journey. The journey was slowly coming to an end.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Most of these photos were taken by DaVinci. Thanks bud! 

 

Tomorrow I start the 100 Mile Wilderness. The weather is suppose to be raining pretty much the whole time. So it goes sometimes.

I'll be done Aug 9, assuming the weather holds. And then I'll spend a few days in Milkinocket before my family comes. And then it's about 2 weeks in Indy before the next adventure starts. 

I'm feeling both ready to be done, and at the same time really sad to let go. So much beauty to hold. 

Picture from a kayak on a lake in Monson near the hostel I stayed at.