How does one adjust to the real world after experiencing a more genuine and real feeling world in the woods? I'm just plowing through while trying to stay fit and do things that make me happy. But it feels insufficient. I find myself in tears multiple times a day.
I have the new job lined up and that starts the beginning of Sept, and I'm so grateful to have something else to throw myself into. But I know in 11 months when that adventure is over I'm likely to find myself in the same place, saying goodbye to people I've grown to love and having to find something else to do that makes me feel alive. This is a pattern I've created for myself. And honestly, it's led to some pretty amazing adventures. But I don't think this is sustainable, or rather I don't know how to make it so. I can't see ever feeling content with settling down and getting a job and leading a typical life, being content with my one week vacation each year. How does one break the pattern and still find the excitement and adventure they crave?
Also, as a disclaimer, I realize this is a very privileged perspective I get to have. There are a lot of people who can't afford to think like that because they're too busy struggling to make a living, doing whatever they can to survive. It makes me sad that this is so, but somehow doesn't lessen the struggle I'm feeling. I'd like to find something that both makes me feel fully alive and gives back to the world and the people who struggle in it. I just don't know what that is.
I have the new job lined up and that starts the beginning of Sept, and I'm so grateful to have something else to throw myself into. But I know in 11 months when that adventure is over I'm likely to find myself in the same place, saying goodbye to people I've grown to love and having to find something else to do that makes me feel alive. This is a pattern I've created for myself. And honestly, it's led to some pretty amazing adventures. But I don't think this is sustainable, or rather I don't know how to make it so. I can't see ever feeling content with settling down and getting a job and leading a typical life, being content with my one week vacation each year. How does one break the pattern and still find the excitement and adventure they crave?
Also, as a disclaimer, I realize this is a very privileged perspective I get to have. There are a lot of people who can't afford to think like that because they're too busy struggling to make a living, doing whatever they can to survive. It makes me sad that this is so, but somehow doesn't lessen the struggle I'm feeling. I'd like to find something that both makes me feel fully alive and gives back to the world and the people who struggle in it. I just don't know what that is.
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